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My trip to the snowy mountains of Utah February 23, 2007

Posted by daveintexas in Current Events.
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They got 6 inches when I arrived.

They got 6 inches today when I departed.

I connected through Denver, and y’all better watch out cause its coming.

This morning was beautiful.  Beautiful.  It was above freezing, 39 or so.

I did not know it could snow above freezing.

That’s crazy.

Came down in big flakes.  I used a brush to wipe it off my little rental car this morning.  Provided by Avis, God bless em.

There’s something beautiful about the snowy west, and something not so beautiful.  I can’t put my finger on it.

Yes I can.  Your cars look like crap.

Seriously, they got that film of nasty road crap on them all winter long.

Yech.

I don’t even want to touch it anymore.  I tried wiping it offa my sleeve this morning, by eleven it had burned a hole in my elbow.

I shut the trunk with my right hand.  Some salty road dusty gunk on my fingers.  I can’t wipe it off on anything, so I pull a George Allen move and lick my fingers.

Do.  Not.  Do.  This.

Dear God what are they putting in that brew now??  Acch… I spit and hacked and ptui-ed for ten minutes.  Gross.

I don’t know how you Yankees keep metal on your cars.  I swear, I got no clue.

Snow is pretty tho.

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Comments»

1. lauraw - February 23, 2007

I don’t know how you Yankees keep metal on your cars.

We lick them clean.

2. Lipstick - February 23, 2007

Oh my. I’m supposed to go to Utah in a few weeks. I do not want to go. You just reminded me why.

3. Retired Geezer - February 23, 2007

Dude, where’s your camera?

4. S. Weasel - February 24, 2007

You couldn’t find anything to wipe your hand on, so you licked your fingers? You goober!

5. lauraw - February 24, 2007

Good thing he didn’t accidentally touch dog shit.

6. lizardbrain - February 24, 2007

I don’t know how you Yankees keep metal on your cars.

We don’t. The number one cause of death for motor vehicles in Maine is rust.

lauraw: ha!

7. daveintexas - February 24, 2007

I thought it was just salt.

I chose, poorly.

8. BrewFan - February 24, 2007

I did the research for you. Do you have a will?

9. BrewFan - February 24, 2007

Damn spam filter.

10. daveintexas - February 25, 2007

I fished it out.

And also I don’t feel so good.

11. Elzbth - February 25, 2007

Well, you’ve had the salt. Now you need the tequila.

12. composmentis - February 26, 2007

and lick my fingers

Dave, there are some things you simply should not admit to. I would ask what you were thinking, but it’s obvious you weren’t.

We all do crap like that though. The very first house my wife and I bought was a very old, little two bedroom deally. The original main room was made out of an old railroad boxcar. Don’t ask me how they did it, that’s just what I was told. Anywho, when we bought it, it had some pretty cheap, brown, indoor/outdoor carpeting in the kitchen. I was patching a flat bicycle innertube on the kitchen counter. I used gasoline to clean the spot where the patch was going.

Rule # 1. Never use gasoline to clean anything in the house.
Rule # 2. Do not spill gasoline on your kitchen carpet. See rule # 1 and this won’t be an issue.
Rule # 3. Do not go braindead and put a lit match to the spill “thinking” that the gasoline would just burn off, like it would on concrete.

No, no, no. I was standing there watching the little yellow and blue flames, waiting for them to go out. It only took a few seconds, but I recall standing there thinking, “Hmm, it’s taking longer than I thought for the flames to die out.” Then, “Shit. It’s not going out. It’s melting the effing carpet.”

Wife gets home a couple hours later. Wives are like parents. Somehow, they have this built-in sensory doohickie that tells them there’s been trouble in the house and they automatically go straight to it.

Within 30 seconds of her arriving home, “Why is this throw rug in the kitchen moved clear over here? . . .” No answer. She doesn’t move it, just walks into the living room and asks me again. I know I look guilty as sin. “Why is the throwru-. What did you do??”

Yeah. I’m an idiot.

I managed to prolong a little kid’s life a few years ago. My wife said she didn’t care how much more stupid crap I had pulled, I’ll always be a hero to her for that. It was my “Get out of dumbass jail free” card.

13. Nice Deb - February 26, 2007

When I was 12 years old I was opening up a can of tuna, and the can opener didn’t get lid completely off, so I took it by the sides with my thumb and forefinger and forcefully pulled upward.

Blood splattered everywhere… the walls, floor, ceiling. My sister was entering the kitchen when it happened, and screamed like she was watching a horror flick.

I ended up with 7 stitches in my thumb, and two in the forefinger.

Never do this.

14. skinbad - February 26, 2007

Nice Deb, Little pull tabs on the tuna now. Much safer. Dave, I’m hoping for more of a Mark Twainish “Roughing It” take on life among the Mormons. I’m also hoping the people and the state were decent hosts.

Utah’s Motto: We’re not much, but we ain’t spudders.

15. lauraw - February 27, 2007

My MIL gets us cute little gadgets from time to time.
The can opener that opens cans from the side edge is pretty nifty. You can run your finger across all the edges afterwards, they aren’t sharp at all.


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