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“Quick Draw McGraw” fobs crime by shooting himself in the testicle November 28, 2006

Posted by daveintexas in Current Events, uh.

Someone was using a firearm and apparently doesn’t know how it works.

While attempting to kidnap a teenager in a dispute over stereo speakers (which strikes me as kinda small potatoes when you’re thinking “Hey, I can solve this dispute with aggravated kidnapping”, but then this bonehead doesn’t strike me as a deep thinker anyway), assailaint shoves handgun into waistband.  Shoots a nut.  In his excitement and distress, he manages to shoot himself again in the leg.

That’s mighty impressive there.

Now I know some of you think I dwell too much on these “the twins are in peril” stories, when I regaled you with tales of my own experience with the needle and “lefty” (and righty, I did get them both fixed, a two-fer), but put that aside for a moment.

I am curious.

As to the caliber of the weapon, which is not mentioned.

Because that would give me some idea of just how badly “lefty” fared in this exchange (I don’t know it was lefty, I’m just taking a guess.  Hey, better than 50-50 odds… most people are right handed, so I’m taking a stab at it you’ll pardon the pun).

See a small caliber round, like a .22, or a .32, or even a 9mm, well that’d be like taking a medium size phillips screwdriver and stabbing a hole completely through lefty.  Not slow either, you’d have to take aim and really jam that thing through fast.  Damage?  Oh to be sure.  Pain?  No doubt.  But lefty might withstand this kind of wound and live to fight another day.  A few stiches, a bag of ice, you’ll be as right as rain.

But a larger caliber round, like a .38, or a .357, or heaven forbid, a .45 (regular readers including TusharD know what THOSE can do), well, in the immortal words of Dirty Harry Callahan, “and would just blow your head (nut) clean off boy”, well… uh, ouch.  I don’t think there’d be much left to suture back together.

Like the guy on the sidewalk, thinking about reaching for the shotgun, wondering if Harry is out of bullets, “I gots to know”.

I’m just curious.  Basically I want to know how much I can laugh at this dumb ass.



1. Retired Geezer - November 28, 2006

Desert Eagle?
One can only hope.

2. harrison - November 28, 2006

Basically I want to know how much I can laugh at this dumb ass.

As much as you want. He’s earned it.

3. Elzbth - November 28, 2006

An uzi? A howitzer?

4. Lipstick - December 2, 2006

I love the headline on the article.

5. daveintexas - December 3, 2006

I used to work with a guy who was the controller for the oil company. One day I went to his office and saw him limping around with a cane and a big bandage on his foot. I asked him what happened, and his secretary started giggling uncontrollably.

Earlier that week, he heard a disturbance downstairs, so he grabbed a .22 semi-automatic and stuck it in the pocket of his bathrobe. He’s downstairs sneaking around looking for a burglar when the cat knocked something over and that startled him so he shot himself in the foot. And that startled him so much he did it two more times.

He became known as “Quick Draw”.

I said “Henry, I would have lied my ass off about that”.

6. lauraw - April 3, 2013


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