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Well, I’m Dead June 8, 2006

Posted by daveintexas in terrorist hemorrhoids.



They got me.  Some kinda bomb or something, man I don't know, the lights went out so fast I have no freaking idea.

You wanna know where you wanna be when a bomb drops?  You wanna be somewhere you can say "hey, what was that?  Did you hear something"?  NOT somewhere you say "pass me some o that goat che…" then the lights go out.  That is NOT where you want to be.

This sucks.  I still smell like a wet mule.  And I got a rash on my ass that I've been dealing with for an effin MONTH and it's STILL on me.

Oh, and them hemorrhoids.  Remember them?  Well, I have some very bad news for some of you.

I read in the paper this morning (yeah, you can do that here cause it tortures you so "the man" is cool with it) that it was my spiritual advisor Sheik Abdul Rahman they tracked to find me.  Stupid SOB never could shake a tail.  I was always telling him, "Sheik Abdul, do like the prophet tol us man, peace be upon him, stick and move mofo, stick and move.  Don't be like walking in a straight line and shit.  You got to shuck and jive bro, you wanna get them infidels offa your hairy ass".  Dumb jerk never listened to me.  I showed him even, back when they winged me in Fallujah, "dude, you better be streakin like Michael Johnson when they're closing in".

Well, he dint listen to me, and look at me now you dumb son of a bitch.  I'm as dead as Julius Caesar.  Stone cold.. ugly ass pale face, room temp.  And those goofy ass KOSkids are all yelling about how the CIA just made my ass up.  Well look at this bitches!  This look like a made up crater in my furry ass?  You see me bleedin outta the back o my noggin?  Lemme give a little advice to you knuckleheads, never, ever, tell the United States Air Force "hey, just take a little off the top, ok"?

I hate it here.  I really do.


1. BrewFan - June 8, 2006

lol! Good one, dave!

2. skinbad - June 8, 2006

Wouldn’t it be nice if the Terrorist Hemhorroids category could be retired? I guess not in this life.

3. Smoke on the Water - June 8, 2006

Zero Sum Zarqawi…

Let’s do the math. This………. (murdering incompetent coward) Plus THIS…………. Equals THIS ! One Very Dead Terrorist Leader along with a goodly number of his crew. Now that’s what I call an elegant equation. UPDATE: 12:30. THE BEST Take on…

4. blogidaho - June 8, 2006

“dude, you better be streakin like Michael Johnson when they’re closing in”.

He thought you meant Michael Jackson.

5. skinbad - June 8, 2006


“Now that’s what I call a bleeder!”

6. citizenkan - June 8, 2006

Banned by RWS. Drats! Well, it was fun while it lasted.

All the best,

7. Tom M - June 8, 2006

He had a bad day. Person Blown Unto Hell.

8. daveintexas - June 8, 2006

geez ck, did you say fuck or something?

9. geoff - June 9, 2006

RWS banned CK? That’s really hard to believe.

10. Dave in Texas - June 9, 2006

She banned du monde cause he (she, whatever) was being a jerk, stop, I know you are as shocked as me. Anyway since dm and ck “share” the same IP addr, ck gets blocked too.

If they are in fact two people. I don’t think so, but I don’t have anything to base it on other than my gut.

Enjoy your weekend getaway with Mrs. geoff

11. citizenkan - June 9, 2006

Dit, what’s wrong with that gut of yours? Your instincts are betraying you, but I have no way to convince you otherwise.

Yep, I got caught up in the net that removed Du from the scene.

Personally, I’d like to know who the hell concerned citizen is because he/she has a rather curious timing with posts. That’s my gut instinct.

12. Bart - June 10, 2006

You picked a good pic to go with your title, “Well, I’m dead.”

13. daveintexas - June 10, 2006

Yeah, that one says “I’m dead” just as well as it says “I am so sick and tired of these goddam hemorrhoids”.

ck, what? You think “concerned citizen” is a pseudonym? Who do you think it is? More importantly *time for introspection, prepare yourself* why do you care? cc hasn’t posted there in a while if memory serves.

Actually *self-reflection warning* why are you here?

14. citizenkan - June 10, 2006

Good memory. I was actually only kidding, but cc only seems to surface when Du posts. And no, it’s not Du.

Why am I here?! Oh come on Dit. Because I’ve been booted from “the group.” I’d been following RWS since about last Oct-Nov. You know….I’m going through withdrawal and apparently can’t do it cold turkey.

I went over to Andy’s page, too. But I generally agree with Andy to a point that my mind isn’t challenged to accept new points of view.

Now, a question for you, if you’d be so kind. Why do you have this site?

15. daveintexas - June 10, 2006

To entertain myself and others.

So you hung out at RWS to challenge your mind to accept new points of view?

16. citizenkan - June 10, 2006

Why not? I like to know what makes people tick.

Remember, I’m a liberal.

17. daveintexas - June 11, 2006

You suppose that’s why du monde hung out there too, to find out what makes people tick?

18. geoff - June 11, 2006

Ah – Mrs. geoff and I are back from a sort-of-fun weekend in Laramie (odd choice, I know). I say sort-of-fun because as we were driving up I-25 past Fort Collins, all of the transmission fluid came out of our van and we were dead in the water. Then it started raining. But Mrs. geoff leapt to the rescue and got the AAA tow lined up and had Hertz pick us up right on the side of the freeway (I was mostly sitting there feeling put upon). We rented a car and got back on track, but it was looking bleak there for a while. Hopefully Monday we find out what exactly happened to our poor Odyssey.

Too bad ck got swept up in the dumonde ban, though he surely deserved it.

19. Partisan Pundit - June 11, 2006

And it couldn’t happen to a nicer guy.

I’m hoping they put a wooden stake through his heart just to make sure he STAYS dead…

20. daveintexas - June 12, 2006

Yeah, transmission fluid coming out of a vehicle, that’s like, what do they call that? Crappy. Yep.

It would be almost as bad as your lungs bleeding and leaking to death from overpressure. Except you don’t die.

Hopefully just a line or connector leak and you caught it fast enough to prevent major crappy.

21. geoff - June 12, 2006

,i>Hopefully just a line or connector leak and you caught it fast enough to prevent major crappy.

Apparently that’s the case – I pick it up tomorrow. Keeping my fingers crossed…

22. geoff - June 12, 2006

Hopefully just a line or connector leak and you caught it fast enough to prevent major crappy.

That appears to be the case. I’ll pick it up tomorrow and check it out. When did RWS ban dumonde?

23. geoff - June 14, 2006

Got the minivan back today – apparently some fittings came loose and caused the leakage. They only billed me an hour of labor ($90/hr!!), which of course was somehow not covered by my warranty. But hey, back on the road with little harm done.

24. geoff - June 15, 2006

Looks like it was just a line leak (though it happened awfully quickly, and I’m now seeing suspicious drips under the van).

25. daveintexas - June 15, 2006

Keep an eye on it.

Oh, and you were right, something tripped the spamfilter… I fixed it

26. geoff - June 15, 2006

Free at last, free at last!!

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